Singlehood: Stage of Security
Had to share this stage with my fellow singles! Where do I even start?
The serenity of security!
I can sincerely say that I am at peace with where I am.
I do not need to be acknowledged. I do not need to be validated. I could care less.
This stage is about being okay with keeping to yourself and confident enough to know your value. I had expressed that I truly wanted to be friends first with my significant other before we even began the whole courting process. In order to do so, you have to be solidified in yourself. For instance, when you are genuinely friends, you must realize that friends is the title and role (YES! TITLES do matter- but that is for another status) you will have to play. This means that he will encounter other beautiful and qualified woman like yourself and there is nothing you can do about it.
What we fail to realize here is that they DO NOT BELONG to you (ain't that the truth!!!). You are FRIENDS! PLATONIC, NO BENEFITS GIVEN-FRIENDS! You have to be comfortable with him being around these women, yet remember Who You Are and WHOSE You Are! Only Thee Creator, the one who created you, can define who you (See "Creations vs. Thee Creator" post)! Going a step further; after you all get married, he will still be exposed to other beautiful, worthy women. Can you handle that? You cannot get caught up in this natural law of life. This goes for fellas too; yes she is fine, that is one of the reason why you have desired her. Even with a ring on her finger and you by her side CLEAR AS DAY: she will STILL receive looks/stares and invitations from other men! It is unavoidable.
That is why when I am in a room with handsome (in their entirety; it is beyond the physical) men who are interacting with other beautiful (in their entirety) women, I am not moved. Why? Because he is NOT mine. Go ahead and do your thang boo! Why in the world would I fight for someone who has made NO TYPE of verbal/physical commitment to me? So what we share a few converations, looks and interests; That does not make him exclusive to me. This used to mess me up! I am over here having silent heartbreaks for NOTHING! FOR ABSOLUTELY NOTHING! If he does not claim you as his- HE DOES NOT WANT YOU. YOU ARE NOT HIS! YOU ARE FREE! STOP IT!
That is why I ain't chasing after no one! Did Ruth? Did Rachel? Read. Your. Bible.
I will be single for the rest of my life before I ever do that again! PREY AIN'T PREY IF IT AIN'T CAUGHT Let me say it again! Read. Your. Bible! PREY AIN'T PREY IF IT AIN'T CAUGHT However, there is another side to this: you cannot make this type of demand, if you are NOT worthy of this type of demand. Please do not misinterpret. You have to have your self together or be in the process of, to stand on this. No, this is not for every woman because we ALL do not have it together (yet; keep hope).
Again, you must know your value and be confident in who you are. I know what I bring to the table and for a long time I had to advertise it and persuade others to see it. Not today. What a shame it is to have to announce the merit of treasure?
These are treasures stored away for the One who holds the key. Selah.
When you are walking with GOD there are no gray areas. Therefore, they will be no gray areas with who is seeking me. I will know; he will know. We will know what is REALLY going on between us and be secured in that.
There are different stages to Singlehood and when you allow GOD to TRULY build you, He will reveal the necessities needed for a firm foundation of your future sacred, covenant, relationship. The time of Singlehood is so crucial! Lord, take your time with me. I need to be right here, in the palm of Your hands. I need to get this so that my daughter can get it as well. So that my son can as well. ("Deep calleth upon deep"! It is BIGGER than you!)
I am glad to be here- single with GOD, bin the same breath, taken by Him (YESSSS LORD)! I AM LOVINGGG IT!!!! No texting "buddies." No "maybes." No nothing. Just GOD.
Until GOD sees fit to elevate me to the next level and finally reveal my husband to me, I'm gon' sit right here, poolside, Saved and Sanctified, with my Son shades on, legs crossed and Bible open, holding it down; willingly!
THERE ARE LEVELS TO THIS!!! 😝
Stay Blessed Singles!
(Picture courtsey of Google: http://myjihad.org/wordpress/wp-content/uploads/2012/12/key.jpg)
