Diary Dialogue Two: Accepting Reality
Dear Diary,
What a WEEK!!! I launched my new blog and have been receiving tremendous feedback! GLORY TO GOD! I cannot wait to see where this takes me! With GOD ANYTHING is possible (Philippians 4:13)!
No matter how much success in productivity we gain, we always feel that we can do more and be better! That is where I am! Though I may appear on track, I still know that I am not at my best. I must understand that I should not see myself in my own glory, but ONLY in GOD’s’. It is okay to be behind the wave of things. Then as I ask myself "But are you really behind?" There's a season for everything-Ecclesiastes 3; especially when you are walking with GOD; trying to do things right. It takes time and testing of faith. I get so frustrated at times because I HAVE NO CLUE what lies before me and all my problems are facing me head on as if I am a deer in the middle of the road, at night, getting ready to see “the light” [laughs—but seriously!]. I want things done now! That is my flesh being inpatient (Philippians 4:6). Pastor Dawkins spoke about this on Wednesday and I knew that it was for me. I love when you do that GOD! Though in a room filled with others, you give me answers to my personal questions (Pastor pointed this out as well). Pastor said that GOD will take you to where you have been persecuted, rejected, know you are too good for and have no idea of where you are going. I am currently in the last one! CLUELESS. CLUELESS. CLUELESS! That is because, as Pastor expressed, it is none of my business and for GOD to get the glory out of it! So I will continue to pray and be still in the Spirit.
Another thing I have noticed this week in my walk in Singlehood, is accepting happiness and joy for others. Whenever I use to look at couples and their pictures and statues, I used to say “Awww, I can’t wait for my turn!!!” I would sometimes even say “That could’ve been me! Ughhh!” or “Really? Him? Her? Wow.” Now, I do not envy or desire to be taken if it is not in GOD’s’ plan and timing. I am truly content and at peace with where I am. My validation is found in GOD and Him alone. I feel so FREE and able! I used to try to find affirmation in others, but now I am good! Delivered! I love seeing people in love! GODLY, love! The way a Man loves his woman and how she is submissive to his needs. Sacred. I know that what is mine will be mine and I should have no worries. In due time. There is no need for me to stress about settling down, getting married, having children and so forth. I need to enjoy ME! I need to take myself out, go on adventures, take weekend trips, travel to conferences—JUST LIVE! There is so much to do than to be wining, comparing and being sad at what you do not have! I am just blessed to be here, in this time, at this time.
You really do not know how strong, and beautiful you are until you take the time out for yourself. You need this time with GOD, where He can work on you alone. No distractions. I used to think being single was a curse, when in actuality it is a blessing! So when I do properly get taken off the market, it will be right, with the right person. No compromises. No false starts. No worries. When that day comes, I will look back at my Singlehood, and be grateful. I will know that I was prepared, molded, and now ready to be served. GOD Willing, I can share this with my daughter. My son. My grand babies. Even the next generation that follows!
It is okay to love yourself and to be to yourself. You have to learn you before you can share you with someone else. Selah. Prioritize yourself to know you deserve this time. YOU NEED IT!
That is all for now!
Selah...♡
(Picture courtsey of: https://presencematters.files.wordpress.com/2015/01/self-acceptance_omtimes-750x400.jpg)
