Dating Potential: Stop Playing Yourself
- Nov 11, 2015
- 5 min read
I am sure we all have been a victim of this! You know, dating and/or pursuing someone because they "appeared" to embody future characteristics that we deemed valuable. Oh how silly we can be! I am not saying that potential cannot change into reality or reality cannot revert back to potential. I am saying that we must tread lightly. You may not know when potential will finally become reality or if it will ever. Selah.
I have been in a couple "situationships" before. You would have thought I would have learned my lesson the first go around, right? GOD works in mysterious wonders! My view of a situationship can be seen as a strong “like connection” that holds no definite title, yet benefits, whether it be spending time, sending/receiving consistent morning and night texts, not often being seen in public together, just giving enough attention to keep things going yet still being single, just not really emotionally available to any one else. Did you catch all that? Yup! I have been in this nonsense of a predicament! I take responsibility for allowing myself to go down this road. Why? I knew better, plain and simple!
The only reason I allowed myself to get into these situations were because of the potential. I thought "Well if I make myself available only to him, showing how I am loyal, caring and loving then he would officially make me his. Right?" WRONG! NO MA'AM! FARTHEST THING FROM THE TRUTH! This is equivalent to "mentally shacking up." What I did not understand was that potential did not always lead to reality, but that reality could lead to potential! Selah.
Let me break it down.
The reality was that he was not going to take me out, court me, spend quality time and resources on me and officially lock it down. Why? I had given away my bargaining right; the power that a Queen posess. His reality was that "no, Rashell, I am not going to make you mine because I technically have you without having to put in so much effort." Ouch. I kept fueling myself by reciting, "Oh he's going to be a great husband, successful and such a leader—I can see it now!" What I took as potential was now the reality of a dead end. This is why we cannot assume that things are going to go the way we picture it in our minds. Only GOD has that power.
I had fallen in love with the potential of reality.
I fell in love with the should of, could of and would of.
The facts were:
He was not my man
He had lost urgency to officially make me his woman
My "perceptive value" had decreased because I had given him my power
I was "too available"
He was not going to give me the appropriate quality time and dedication that I needed from him
“GOD's' idea and your idea cannot dwell together.” -Pastor Dawkins, Sr.
By the time I had gotten the picture, he had checked out and fallen for another woman. I would have never stayed in this if I knew this would be the outcome. This placed me back in check! I am not GOD and therefore I will never be able to precisely and clearly forecast the future. Ask yourself, what would be the purpose of faith, if we could?
Reality yields potential, but in our conditioned way of thinking we only believe that potential yields reality. If the man you are interested in is not currently or on track to being Saved, filled with the Holy Ghost, hardworking, protective and so forth, then what makes you think he willl be in the future? In Ruth 2, Boaz was providing and protecting Ruth BEFORE he was even fully committed to her. How? She stayed in her place as a woman. She was so busy focused on what she needed to do that she did not completely realize that Boaz had his eyes on her from the very first day he has seen her. He was ready to hunt. Here me out, I am not saying that my future husband to be has to own a lot, with workers and be running a full-fledged business before we unite. What I am saying is that he should be in position of where the Lord is directing him to be a real man and I need to go sit somewhere and let everything fall into place! I will not have to worry about what my future husband will bring to the table because GOD will make sure that I will not have to.
If the woman you wish to purse is lazy, holds no holy and righteous standards, easily accessible, then how do you expect her to become a Proverbs 31 lady? Jacob had met Rachel at the well, because she kept the sheep for her father (Genesis 29:10). Jacob was focused on her, and she was focused on her responsibility. She was being productive and obedient. Jacob was the one who made the first move and desired to be with her. He spent 14 years waiting and serving until he could finally marry Rachel (Genesis 29:18 & 20).
Stop acting out of order and creating your own destiny. If you are wondering how things ended, well, I went ghost. Without notice, I completely detached myself from the whole situation. This was not done by choice, but by force (THANK GOD!). I had gotten tired of waiting and realized I was being plain stupid. Yup! STUPID! I held my self accountable for it and still do! I was being taken advantage of and I was letting it happen, over, and over again. Power cannot be taken unless you give it away. My Spirit had had enough. I had realized that the man that GOD had for me, would never stand for this and put me through this (Mark 12:13). I seriously got my act together. I got Saved, Filled with the Holy Ghost, and now I am here. I am content yet joyful with GOD, alone. Talk about getting yourself right! In retrospect, I do not want it back. I want someone better. I will have someone better.
You are valuable. You were created in GOD's’ image (Genesis 1:27). You cheapen your worth when you accept no titles and when you crack the windows and open your doors of your temple before marriage. Do things the right way. If you are a true Christian believer, Saved, Filled with the Holy Ghost, the right way is defined as GOD's’ way. We find GOD's’ way in the Bible. Where it is devised, declared, decreed and done!
Titles are essential.
Spiritual development is essential.
Platonic friendships are essential.
Boundaries are essential.
Time is essential.
Potential is great but it does not always guarantee your reality.
Let GOD write your love story...
Selah...♡
(Picture courtsey of Google)
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